Things To Know About Chinese Dating Culture
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Today we are going to talk about dating in China; more specifically, expats and Chinese culture definitely leans towards the latter. This type of behavior can be considered unusual for a more traditional Chinese person.
Compared with western cultures, China has traditionally had a vastly different value system toward marriages and family. But over the past 30 years, these customs have been upended. By looking at the development of Chinese television dating shows, we can see how love and marriage changed from a ritualized system mired in the past to the liberated, western-style version we see today. Marriage matchmaking has always been an important cultural practice in China.
Marriage was viewed as a contract between two households, and it was for the purpose of procreation, not love. Thought to contribute to peace and stability, it was the dominant custom into the latter half of the 20th century. However, even in the wake of political change and globalization, many families still held the traditional Chinese belief that women, unlike men, belonged in the home, and that their parents had the final say over whom they could marry.
Certain traditions still ruled. The style of the show followed a linear pattern. Male candidates introduced themselves and their family background, listed their criteria for a spouse, and answered a few questions from the host. It was essentially a singles ad broadcast before audience members, who, if interested, could contact the candidate for a date.
Despite all the limitations, the show was a groundbreaking depiction of courtship. It took decisions about love and marriage from the private home to the very public domain of broadcast TV. By the early s, Chinese TV networks found themselves in fierce competition with one another.
Chinese Dating: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – Part 1
In the world that is getting smaller thru technology and the internet, our way of life has changed in leaps and bounds. How we do things, from our everyday tasks to even something as hard as finding a home can all be done with a push of a button. Even how we connect to people is no longer limited to words and we can now easily express ourselves in more ways and to a wider audience with lesser efforts.
How we build our relationships are now moving into uncharted territories, leaving behind our more traditional and simple courtship and dating practices.
Romantic relationships involving older women and younger men. Love can be both simple and complicated. Sometimes it is probably the dominant – but not the only factor that makes two people decide to stay together. In China, however, practical factors like social background, financial status, career development and even education are important indicators that Chinese people think about before getting involved romantically.
Age difference is also an indicator that probably has an influence on prospective couples here. In a traditional Chinese relationship, men are usually older than women. The man is more like a big brother and the woman his younger sister. But this is changing as Chinese people are holding a more open concept toward relationships and marriage. Jiedilian , a relationship in which the woman is older than the man, has become widely accepted in urban China.
A researcher named Li Chunling mentioned in a news report that, in , marriages between an older man and a younger woman accounted for around 70 percent of all surveyed marriages, while those between an older woman and a younger man were only about 13 percent. But in , the numbers changed to 43 percent and 40 percent respectively, people. According to a May report by China Women’s News, around 60 percent of male respondents and 50 percent of female respondents said in a survey released by a Chinese match-making website that they can accept a five-year age difference in a jiedilian relationship.
Nearly 90 percent of single people surveyed said that they accept jiedilian. Rachel Miao, 34, is four years older than her husband.
‘Love on the cloud’ raises privacy issues
Did you know that in ancient China, official Matchmakers were customs a thing? They were appointed by the government and given authority during the Yuan Dynasty. This is mostly known as the four pillars of customs time. Dating with the mania, a fortune teller must also be present in the matchmaking. Of course, giving gifts betrothal and wedding gifts should also be present and is also part of The Six Etiquettes. In ancient China, before any matchmaking could take place, their potential match must first be approved by their parents first.
In a traditional Chinese relationship, men are usually older than women. She had bad experiences dating men younger than her and found.
Dating anywhere in the world that is not your home country, you are bound to find some cultural differences and experience culture shock. Depending on where you come from, Chinese culture is probably very different to what you are used to. Or, indeed, other expats living in China from different countries other than your own.
This is a down to Earth account about experiences dating in China — the good, the bad, and the ugly, and how to deal with the cultural differences that almost certainly will arise. In Asian culture, however, including dating in China, they often seem to miss out the middle step. Nothing needs to be said, e. If a guy likes a girl, then he will flaunt his stuff by buying presents and showing her what kind of good home and family he can offer. One of the best ways to show your love and affection in Chinese culture is by showing it with objects.
Just recently there was an article about a Chinese man who bought his foreign girlfriend a Lamborghini as an engagement present. Unfortunately, she said no. For more stories of madness, look no further than these ridiculous proposals. In Western culture, this would often result in the end of a friendship, or at least some arguments. The general etiquette in Western culture would be that if two or more friends like the same person, it would either be decided that turns would be taken, let the other person decide, or no one can have them — in order to avoid conflict.
Chinese Culture Course
In ancient China most of people got married with the help of a matchmaker and the arrangements of their parents. The man’s side, led by the matchmaker, would visit the girl’s family to confirm each other’s stance. The step is called xiangqin to confirm attitudes. Nowadays, there are millions of single people in big cities like Shanghai and Beijing, so the traditional practice of xiangqin, with more than 1, years of history behind it, has made a comeback in modern Chinese life.
Hundreds of parents of white-collar children gather together to choose suitable objects for their children’s marriage in parks such as Zhongshan Park, and Zi Zhu Yuan Park in Beijing, since the end of
For westerners and other people from all over the world interested in learning about the Chinese dating culture in order to make their relationships stronger or find the ideal Chinese woman to spend the rest of their lives with, there is a lot to learn. China has many exotic and astonishing customs and beliefs.
Here are some cultural peculiarities when dating a beautiful Chinese woman to make your relationship happy and successful. According to Chinese culture, parents love their daughters to marry older men. This is for the obvious reason that older men have built their lives to become more established with assets and a stable income. These older men are well able to take care of the women they marry and give them the best life.
Most Chinese parents prefer children who date a partner already known to their family. The extended family network of uncles, cousins, aunts are the people who approve the person the daughter is dating. The parents feel more secure if the extended family network knows the suitor of their daughter. So as a foreigner dating a Chinese girl in China, make sure you get meet with the family members including the extended family and gain their approval.
Most Chinese families believe in good behavior by family members to give a good name to the family. This is why have the responsibility to put the family in a good light falls on every family member. The behavior of a family member always reflects back on the family as a whole.
Ancient Chinese Marriage Customs
Visit for more related articles at Global Media Journal. This cross-cultural study explored the role of culture and gender in mate selection. Through content analyzing two hundred Chinese personal advertisements and two hundred American personal advertisements posted on Chinese and American dating websites, the study found that culture had significant impact on patterns of self-presentation and mate preference.
More Chinese advertisers provided information on their physical appearances, health conditions, financial status, education, and morality, whereas more American advertisers wrote about their personality and hobbies. A similar pattern was found in their statements about mate preferences: statement about physical characteristics, financial status and morality more frequently appeared in Chinese personal ads, and statements about personality and hobbies more frequently occurred in American personal ads.
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If work or extended travel takes your family to China, it is important to have a working knowledge of Chinese customs and how these customs differ from American customs. This is especially important if you have teenage kids, because Chinese dating and marriage customs can be very different from those in the U. American teenagers are used to a dating culture where neither partner usually considers marriage until both partners are much older.
Many American teenagers expect to date several people before they settle down with one person, and they may view dating during their teenage years as primarily for fun. In cities like Beijing and Shanghai, some young people follow Westernized dating customs. Almost everywhere else in China, however, traditional attitudes to dating prevail. Dating is a form of courtship and is not casual.
6 Rules to Follow When Dating a Traditional Chinese
Chinese dating etiquette is one of the well-known particular dating culture in the world of relationship. They are indeed different in many ways compare to the common dating etiquette in Western countries, even the rest of the countries in East Asia. Strongly influenced by their culture and tradition, Chinese has their own rules of dating.
The differences between the dating culture in the United States and the If you want to be successful in dating Chinese women, you will need to get to know their Some women will not have an issue with this, but the more traditional women.
One of the primary issues here is that for Chinese women, there is a much stronger emphasis on getting married early. China is relatively new to the whole modern-stable-globalized-internet still working on that last one, really country thing, and when your culture is over 4, years in the making, old habits die hard. That’s because her grandparents’ and possibly depending on where in China she is from her parents still value marital stability above all else in their time, given the instability and volatility of their eras.
In fact, I once dated a girl who would only meet up at places that her parents AND grandmother had pre-approved; as you can imagine none of these places were very fun. What this often leads to is heavy parental involvement in relationships and dating. This particular cultural difference, is, in my experience, a big reason so many intercultural relationships fail; I know one girl I met texted me five times before lunch the next day — a serious no-no for me but standard procedure for her.
The man is generally supposed to handle all the decision making in Chinese dating, and some girls take this very seriously. Once I asked a girl what she wanted to do for the date and she just never responded! Anyway, all of this means that in China itself, if you’re dating someone seriously, marriage is at least on the table. As a result, being intimate before marriage is a lot less common in China than in the West, though this is not so much the case anymore among younger, more urbanized Chinese.
That said, additional stresses do exist. Understanding this, more than anything else, is the key to a successful Chinese dating experience. Now that you know a little about dating culture in China, take a look at what Chinese people have to say about their ideal romantic partners.
17 Chinese Dating Etiquette – Rules – Customs – Relationship
China has a long and illustrious history and she has seen many changes. The culture courses focus on specific aspects of traditional Chinese culture, such as Chinese calligraphy, painting, Tai Chi, cooking Chinese food, mahjong and so on. We got a lot of high praise from our students.
The topic is a perennial favorite on Chinese china and Weibo. These criticisms are 1 patronizing to the women who date foreign guys 2 slightly xenophobic and 3.
While researchers have long examined the dating and mate selection patterns among young adults, the vast majority have utilized Western samples. In order to further our understanding of the changing nature of dating behaviors and attitudes, this study examines a sample of young Chinese adults and focuses upon the gender differences therein. Using a foundation of social exchange theory, the analyses illustrate the differences between the dating attitudes and expectations of Chinese women and men.
Per traditional expectations, both sexes place a low priority on sexual behaviors, yet more progressive attitudes and behaviors are also evident. Women, in particular, appear to be more focused on pragmatic qualities in prospective partners. The influence of individualist values and the changing cultural norms pertaining to dating and familial roles are discussed. Dating and romantic relationships are a normal, yet essential, part of life during the adolescent and early adult years.
Beyond the basic desires which most individuals experience during this time, researchers have noted the relative significance of dating, not only for individuals but also for societies. The initiation and maintenance of intimate, romantic relationships have been linked with improved physical and emotional well-being, stronger perceptions of community attachment, and better developmental outcomes for the individuals e.